WHO THE HELL PUT THOSE PHOTOCOPIES OF MY BLACK BOOK IN MY LOCKER?!

You know, I let things calm down: after flashing a clean bill of health from Planned Parenthood, things had gotten back to normal, but this? This is war.

Somebody who can forge handwriting. Somebody who can break into things. Somebody thinks pranks are f--

Pranks. Prank king.

Oh. Oh.

CARY RETLIN, I HOPE YOU ENJOY YOUR DICK BECAUSE I AM GOING TO RIP IT OFF, PUT IT IN A BUN, COVER IT IN RELISH, CALL IT A MINI-WIENER, AND SERVE IT TO KING FOR LUNCH.